Why You NEED to Know Your Attachment Style (Even if You’ve Heard It Before)

Most relationship problems aren’t actually about the other person.

They’re about your inner attachment wounds clashing with theirs.

If you don’t understand your pattern, you’ll keep reliving the same story…

Same heartbreak, different face.

Once you heal your attachment style, you’ll stop asking:

• “Why does this always happen to me?”

• “Why do I feel so needy?”

• “Why do I always attract emotionally unavailable people?”

And you’ll start saying:

• “This doesn’t feel safe, and I’m allowed to walk away.”

• “I’m not here to chase. I’m here to choose.”

• “I deserve a love that feels like peace.”

You might’ve seen TikToks or Instagram posts on this already, but here’s the truth:

It’s not just a trend to talk about—it’s a mirror for growth.

Attachment styles show you why you act the way you do in love.

Why you chase.

Why you pull away.

Why you ghost.

Why you stay too long.

It depends on your relationship trigger patterns.

You can actually use this knowledge to glow up in your love life.

The 4 Attachment Styles (aka Your Relationship Trigger Patterns)

1. Secure Attachment

   This is the goal. This is the “I feel safe to love and be loved” energy.

   You’re not scared of getting close, and you’re not scared of being alone.

   You can communicate, set boundaries, and love without losing yourself.

2. Anxious Attachment

   If you’ve ever obsessed over “why didn’t he text me back?” or felt sick to your stomach when someone pulls away, you might have anxious attachment.

   You crave closeness, but you fear abandonment.

   You overthink everything. You feel too much, too fast, and you try to earn love by proving yourself.

3. Avoidant Attachment

   You’re independent… maybe too independent.

   You want love, but the second someone gets too close, you get uncomfortable.

   You start nitpicking, pulling back, or ghosting because deep down, intimacy feels like a threat to your freedom.

4. Disorganized / Fearful Avoidant

   This is the rollercoaster attachment. You want love, but you’re terrified of it.

   One minute you’re all in, the next you’re out. You might push people away before they can hurt you—even if they never planned to.

   This often comes from childhood trauma or inconsistent caregivers.

Want to find out your attachment style? Take the 2-minute quiz now: modelpatty.com/product-page/attachment-style-quiz

Real Talk: No Style Is Permanent

You’re not broken.

You’re not doomed.

Your attachment style is a pattern you can fix at any moment—it's not your personality.

And you can heal it.

The goal is to shift into a secure attachment, one decision at a time.

No one is perfect 100% of the time.

You don't need to be waiting for someone else to make you feel safe…

You can make yourself feel safe.

Let’s Put This Into Real Life:

🧠 If you’re anxious attached…

Practice sitting in silence and holding your own energy. Journal instead of texting them right away. Learn to self-soothe before you spiral into acting needy and creepy.

🧘🏽 If you’re avoidant…

Challenge yourself to stay just a little longer. Let people in slowly. It’s okay to need others—you’re still strong. Put yourself in vulnerable positions, share something that is important to you. Let people in and see how they won't let you down. Even if they do, you will be okay.

🌪 If you’re disorganized…

Get help regulating your nervous system. Start making clear decisions and being honest with what you want. You need consistency and inner safety before you can feel peace in love. Create consistency for yourself before to let others in.

❤️ If you’re secure…

Hold space for others without dimming your light. You’re the example of what’s possible—don’t settle for less. Don't let others trigger you back into a wounded pattern, be the one others can learn from. Be the one that uplifts others.

✨ Bonus Tip:

Pull a Positive Affirmation Card every morning and repeat it out loud.

Train your nervous system to believe you’re already loved and supported. Because you are.

Ready to Go Deeper?

Book a 1:1 Relationship Coaching Call and let’s heal your love blueprint together. I’ll help you identify your exact pattern and create your personalized path to secure love.

Drop a comment below:

Which attachment style do you think is your default—and which one do you want to shift into?

With love,

Patty 💞