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What to Do When He Cheats on You: Reclaiming Your Power and Attracting Real Love

Let’s me give you the honest truth. If a man cheats on you, it hurts—but it’s also a clear sign: it’s time to level up. That betrayal isn’t a reflection of your worth. It’s a reflection of his limits. And your job now? Step into your power and attract someone who actually deserves the version of you that’s rising from this.


In this post, I’m breaking down the 3 types of men you’ll meet in love, the real reason you keep attracting the wrong ones, and how to protect your heart while still keeping it open.


You can also watch the full video on YouTube here:


P.S. If you’re ready to rebuild your confidence, start here:




Let’s get into it.


The 3 Types of Men in Dating


1. The Actor

This man will say all the right things and seem perfect on paper. He may shower you with compliments, gifts, or attention—but his energy is off.


He’s not being real. He might be "love bombing" you, promising a future he doesn’t intend to build. And over time, his true nature starts to slip out. You’ll notice his actions don’t match his words. The affection starts to fade. The follow-through disappears. He starts gaslighting you or playing the victim in order to get your sympathy. He'll start breaking you down and creating arguments to take you off your game and weaken your spirit.


Where women get stuck: You fall for the version of him he sold you, not who he actually is. You keep remembering "who he was" or "what he did" when he was pretending to be Mr. Right. You'll continue to excuse red flags, and intuitive feelings telling you something isn't right.


How to rise up: Have higher standards from the beginning. Just because he’s acting perfect doesn’t mean he’s genuine. Hold a high barrier to entry—and wait for consistency before investing emotionally. If you're already in a relationship with this type of man, it is time to remove your energy. Go on a vacation, visit your friends or family, take some time away from him to find yourself again. Recharge your voice and your confidence. Look at the relationship from a calm safe state of mind and you will be able to see clearly.



2. The Player

The player is smooth, successful, charming—and always in control. But what makes him a “player” isn’t his career or his charisma. It’s his intention.


Does he prioritize his needs at the expense of others? Does he hide his true feelings and keep his options open, just in case? These men don’t necessarily want to hurt you—but they do put themselves first in a way that leaves you second.


Where women get stuck: You’re drawn to his confidence and success, and you overlook the signs of emotional unavailability. You see how he could be the perfect guy for you, if only he would commit or be serious about you. If only he would just treat you better, he would be perfect. That's not love, that's idealization. You want it to be him, but it's not.


How to rise up: Pay attention to how he treats others, how open he is about commitment, and whether he’s consistent or just convenient. Require more out of him. Ask for more investment and commitment, if he's a player, he will probably ghost you or end the relationship if you're asking for too much. Not because you don't deserve it, but he's just not that into you.



3. The Real One

This is the man who’s confident, honest, and ready. He knows who he is, what he wants, and how to show up for love. He doesn’t play games, and he doesn’t waste your time.


He says what he means and backs it up with action. He’s emotionally present. He creates safety, not confusion. You feel seen, understood, and secure with him.


Where women get stuck: If you’re used to chaos, peace can feel boring. You might mistake stability for a lack of spark. This man won't love bomb you or try to convince you he's the one. But if he's into you, he will be consistent and honest.


How to rise up: Heal your nervous system so you can recognize healthy love as safe, not scary. Practice receiving instead of proving.



Why You Keep Attracting the Wrong Men


Here’s the deeper truth: if you keep attracting liars, cheaters, or emotionally unavailable men, it’s not your fault—but it is something to look at.


Oftentimes, women fall into the same traps because they’re unknowingly showing up as the “actress” version of themselves too. Chasing validation. Trying to impress. Saying yes when you mean no.


Or maybe you’ve hardened your heart and become the “player” version of yourself—using men for status or protection, without letting anyone really know you.


Where women get stuck: You’re unclear on what you truly want, so you keep aligning with people who are equally unclear or self obsessed.


How to rise up: Get radically honest with yourself. What kind of love do you desire—and are you showing up as someone who can hold it? The more authentic and whole you become, the more you naturally attract people who are the same.



You Are Magnetic When You Are Yourself


Real recognizes real. When you start choosing yourself, healing your wounds, and showing up without pretending—you’ll attract people who meet you at that same level.


And yes, there will still be people who try to latch onto your energy, but they will never win. You’ll see through them fast. You’ll spot red flags early. And you’ll trust yourself enough to walk away.


Because you know who you are. And that’s the key to everything.



Affirmations That Rewire Your Energy


Your energy sets the tone for what you attract. That’s why I created my Positive Affirmations Card Deck—because your words become your reality.


Two affirmations from the video:


  • “I am so attractive. Every time I look in the mirror, I look better and better.”

  • “I’m so amazing, I’ve infected their mind. I don’t have to try or beg—they’re just naturally drawn to me.”



These affirmations remind you: confidence is created from the inside out. When you believe in your own power, you stop begging and start magnetizing.



Take the Next Step


Want to reclaim your self-worth, heal from toxic relationships, and attract love that actually lasts?




You don’t have to change yourself to be loved. You just have to be yourself, fully.


With love,

Patty StayWell 💖

thrive with her blog podcast

 
 
 

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