What I Wish I Knew Before Becoming a Business Woman + Setting Boundaries in Relationships.
If you’re a woman in business—whether you work for yourself, work for someone else, or collaborate with others—this post will save you time, money, energy, and frustration.
I’m sharing the biggest mistakes I made in business that cost me the most opportunities, drained my energy, and kept me from getting the success I deserved. These lessons don’t just apply to business—they apply to relationships, partnerships, and knowing your worth in every area of life.
Make sure you read to the end, because the last tip is the most powerful shift you need to make if you want to succeed in business.
the business relationship that changed everything
Eight months ago, an old friend reached out to me with what sounded like an incredible opportunity.
He told me about his new dating app, his real estate business, and a potential TV show. He made big promises about my future if I helped him, telling me, “Come with me, and I’ll make you a millionaire.”
I didn’t even need a job. I didn’t need the money. But I was intrigued. I wanted to be part of something bigger.
So I said yes.
What happened next taught me everything I needed to know about business as a woman.
Here’s where I went wrong—and the lessons you need to know before you ever enter a business relationship.
feminine business secret #1: set clear intentions from the start
If you don’t set your own terms, someone else will set them for you.
From the very beginning, I let him dictate:
• What my role was
• How I would be paid
• What my work would look like
I didn’t have a clear intention of what I wanted out of the deal. I trusted his words instead of setting my own terms.
Sound familiar?
This isn’t just a business lesson—this is the same mistake women make in relationships.
A man will tell you everything you want to hear at the beginning. He’ll make big promises, he’ll say all the right things. But if there’s no commitment, no follow-through, no real agreement—then it means nothing.
Business is no different.
I was treating this deal like a serious business partnership. He was treating it like a favor.
Lesson: If you don’t set the terms, someone else will set them in a way that benefits them—not you.
feminine business secret #2: set strong boundaries
Women naturally over-give.
We want to be helpful. We want to add value. We assume that if we give more, we’ll naturally be appreciated and rewarded.
But business doesn’t work that way.
I was driving three hours every day, showing up fully, helping him with everything—even things outside of the job description.
• I was promoting the dating app like it was my own.
• I was connecting him to people who could help his business.
• I was bringing energy, strategy, and marketing.
And I did all of this without a written agreement.
A boundary in business means getting everything in writing. Not because you don’t trust people, but because people will protect their own interests first.
At one point, I realized I had given him everything he needed to take credit for my work, while I had nothing to show for it.
And when I finally spoke up? He changed.
He started acting like I was replaceable. Like I hadn’t contributed. Like I wasn’t owed anything.
Lesson: If you don’t protect your value, people will take it for free.
feminine business secret #3: ask for more—always
Whatever they’re offering you—triple it.
This was my biggest mistake.
I knew I brought massive value to the table. I knew that my energy, my creativity, and my marketing strategies were the reason things were moving forward.
But I was too nice.
I accepted what was offered instead of asking for more.
When I finally demanded to be an owner in the business, he said:
• “You have to earn it.”
• “I’ve already spent millions on this project.”
• “I can’t just give you a percentage.”
Suddenly, the man who had been begging me for months was trying to act like I wasn’t essential.
And when I finally told him, “No, I will not keep working without ownership,” he tried one last trick:
He offered me a “success fee.”
Meaning:
• I do all the work.
• I get nothing upfront.
• If the project succeeds, I might get a payout.
Absolutely not.
Lesson: If you don’t ask for more, you will always be given less than you deserve.
why this matters—whether you’re in business or not
This isn’t just about business. This is about your standards in every area of life.
• If you don’t set clear intentions in relationships, you’ll end up in situationships with men who don’t commit.
• If you don’t set strong boundaries, you’ll end up doing all the work while others benefit.
• If you don’t ask for more, you will always receive less.
This experience taught me my worth.
I no longer do favors.
I no longer settle for empty promises.
I no longer give my energy to anything that doesn’t align with my value.
And neither should you.
what you need to do now
If you’re in a business situation (or relationship) where you feel:
• Unappreciated
• Over-giving
• Undervalued
Then it’s time to walk away or renegotiate.
Ask yourself:
• What do I actually want out of this situation?
• Have I made my expectations clear?
• Am I getting what I deserve?
If not, speak up, ask for more, and walk away if you don’t get it.
Because you are not replaceable.
You are valuable.
And if they don’t see it, someone else will.
want to work with me and step into your most confident, successful, and aligned self? Check out my courses, coaching, and resources here: https://modelpatty.com
I love you, and I’ll see you in the next one. 💖
- Patty StayWell
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